So I'll just post the outline to our presentation to help everyone study for the final exam:
Whose Myth Is It Anyway?
-Michael Drew Carey Sexson (Ben) walks on stage to introduce the show, where the points and grades aren’t worth anything and the only thing that’s important is the myth.
Today’s skits include: The Preliminary Mythic Dating Game
The Party of the World, Century, Age, Aeon, and Eternity
A Drunken Beer Pong Symposium
A Buddhist Song of Suffering and Salvation
Today’s Improve Actors Include: Sam Roloff, Heather Kahly, Shoni Schipman, Liz Riley, and Kris Drummond
Let’s get started!!
THE DATING GAME!!!
Bachelorette #1- Antigone
Bachelorette #2- Lysistrata
Bachelorette #3- Ovid Characters.
(Bob Barkeresque) Hello folks and welcome to this evenings broadcast of….The Dating Game! APPLAUSE(I am going to make an applause sign to hold up for the class to clap to). Tonight, three lucky ladies will have the once-in-a-lifetime chance of winning a date with tonight’s sexy bachelor. APPLAUSE. Before we meet the contestants, a quick review of the games rules. APPLAUSE. Three contestants are asked three separate questions and based on their answers our lucky bachelor will decide the winner….Alright ladies and gentlemen, lets get the ball rolling! APPLAUSE.
Lets meet our bachelor! His name is Sam. He’s a handsome 19year old undergrad at Montana State University. Sam is a full time student looking for full time love! When he’s no reading poetry, he enjoys making microwavable eggrolls and has a deep appreciation for scented bath oils! Alright Sam, lets meet your three lucky ladies, but remember, you can only pick one!
Are you ready Sam?!
Let’s do it.
Let’s DO IT!
Alright Sam, Question #1 for Bachelorette #1.
Q: Bachelorette #1, who is your favorite TV celebrity and why?
A: I would have to say Jack Bauer. He’s constantly fighting for what he believes for and stands up for what is right. Plus he’s cute.
Alright Sam, Question #2 for Bachelorette #2.
Q: Bachelorette #2, if you could be one part of the body, which would it be and why?
A: Easy. I would be a dick because I could have all the fun and wouldn’t have to suffer any of the consequences.
Alright Sam, Question #3 for Bachelorette #3.
Q: Bachelorette #3, if I were to be late to our first date, what would you do?
A: I would turn you into a donkey.
Alright, all 3 are very lovely and attractive girls but which one will you choose Sam?!
Drumroll please……(make a sign that says “drum lightly on desk please”) and the winner is……BACHELORETTE #1! Congratulations you two, we here at The Dating Game wish you all the best in life. Until next time, goodnight America. APPLAUSE.
THE PARTY OF ALL PARTIES!!!
Need a volunteer to host the party and guess the characters! (Pick a student)
Echo – Liz
Narcissus – Kris
Hermes – Ben
Demeter – Shoni
Ovid / Ted Hughes / David Malouf which morphs into a velociraptor – Sam
(After student is brought down to the stage, we’ll blind fold them, while I distribute cards with the names of each character to the group; we’ll walk along the front of the classroom and show the class our cards, then begin the party)
A DRUNKEN BEER PONG SYMPOSIUM!!!
(Arrange table and cups quickly)
Characters include: Ignorant Peleus – Kris
Philosophical lover – Ben
Bacchus, ‘love is a battlefield’ – Sam
(Begin lines as pong game starts)
K: the girlfriend’s giving me grief for not using the L word.
S: Why don’t you? It’s just a word.
K: Because she’s trying to control me! If I tell her I love her, than I’m done for, stuck forever!
B: Not necessarily, you just have the wrong understanding of love.
K: Huh? What the hell are you talking about? Always rambling your theories; I bet you got a theory for love too.
B: well it’s not exactly a theory. I heard it from a friend who heard it from his stepfather, who heard it from his father, who heard it recited by an elderly woman at some conversation.
S: Nice! Now this is my kind of theory!!
K: but how do you know it’s true or even remembered correctly since it’s been displaced from the source so far.
B: that doesn’t necessarily matter either, because it’s been tweaked and refined each time it’s been told and recollected.
K: Ok, whatever, let’s just hear it.
S: Hell yeah!! I love theories of love!!!
B: Well, what it boils down to is that you shouldn’t feel restricted by love because you can love anything: a cloud, a tree, a pebble, or even a snail. You must begin small, to try and love a tree and desire to find it beautiful, for a tree certainly is a good thing. Once you’ve found the everlasting possession of the good in a tree, and want to find it beautiful, want to love it, and for it to always remain good, you can move on to loving the beauty that is everywhere, in nature, life, and especially women.
K: Oooooookay?...?.. You’re starting to sound like that Pluto guy.
B: His was Plato, not a planet. But if you proceed in this manner to learn how to love, you’ll realize how flexible love can be; and in no time at all you’ll be able to tell your girlfriend you love her too.
S: Hurray! Hurray for Plato, Pluto, love and life. I love you guys! Drink!!!
A BUHDDIST SONG OF SUFFERING AND SALVATION!!
(Everyone needs to develop their verse. Theme is ‘all is fleeting, all is suffering.’ Make it witty and pertinent to the past possesses the present theme of the class. Have fun and be creative so we can finish with a bang!)
Final comments from Michael Drew Carey Sexson; Thanks for watching ‘Whose Myth is it Anyway!!!