"...Lay one cuticle on her, and I shall beat you till you shit (line 440-41)." I don't know which is funnier; the fact that this line is uttered by an old woman as a legitimate threat or that this entire play would make a perfect MTV reality series. It could just be me, but every example of flyting contained in Lysistrata just brings up the image of the bitchy girl yelling and screaming on any given version of MTV's "The Real World." I hate everything about MTV for the very reason that it creates drama when none need exist. They don't even play music anymore. Lysistrata is similar in the fact that drama is being created around a completely absurd and non-realistic theme. However, it is presented as a comedy and the clever insults combined with a humorous translation make this play the most entertaining piece of classical literature I have ever read.
As I read, I feel like I am experiencing a drawn out version of Steiners' first conflict, Men vs. Women. Now I will share some of the funniest quotes I have found relating to this conflict so far.
Lampito: "Shit, it's no easy thing to lie in bed alone without no dong...But count me in. Peace we just gotta have (line 143-5)."
Councilor: "As long as men can get it up--
Lysistrata: "Why don't you die and shut it up?" (line 599)
Chorus: "...Justice and Truth rely on those with balls." (line 661)
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